What you wrote about settling into grief and letting it explain itself feels deeply true to me. So does that feeling of wanting to remain in that sacred, misted space for a while, before the world starts demanding things from you again.
Thank you so very much, Charlie. Reading your post today helped me in so many ways to feel that this is a well trodden path, and to meet others along the way and receive greetings like this is a real blessing. There's so much love along the way. Thanks again. XXX
Hi Deborah! I don’t have any amazing words to say, but I send you my deepest care and prayers! Hugs and I hope that you can navigate this land of loss with whatever it takes to get through it. Losing a loved one is such a painful and difficult experience. 🫂💔
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief takes it's own sweet time. We'll be here when/ if you're ready to return here. I hope you find comfort in something, whether it is drawing, curling up under a blanket. An anticipated death is no less traumatic than a sudden one. Travel whatever route you need to, to get where you need to go.
Thank you! I am finding comfort, and sometimes it is curling up under a blanket. Everyone here has been so kind in the things they've said and this has been one of the best and most supportive things, a lifeline in fact because it would be easy to just to stay under that blanket, and I need connection! I'll be here, whatever path I'm travelling. XXXXX
Dear Deborah, I was shocked and so sorry to read what has happened. My deepest condolences to you; as someone with a life-partner of nearly as long, this is our greatest fear but will be our reality too one day. You wrote "being in an unknown place, being in the state of not knowing - is the most sacred, alive place to be." I take heart from these true words - it's good that you know this, and can count on your art and longtime thoughtfulness to help you through. I'm glad to hear too that your sister has been helping out. Grief takes as long as it takes, and it has its way with us, but if we're willing to stay in the unknown place, there's a lot of wisdom and, eventually, comfort. My thoughts are with you.
You’re so right, “grief takes as long as it takes”. I've no idea what the next weeks and months and even years will bring and I'm content just to let it play out because in some strange way I think I'm beginning to discover that being without each other is somehow the mirror image of being with each other, and is still a relationship, if that makes any sense at all. Thank you for your kind words Beth, and your thoughtfulness. It helps such a lot, to be on the receiving end of such compassion. And - don’t be afraid, or try not to be. I've spent so much of my life being afraid of what might happen, and it's utterly pointless - things are never how you imagine they’re going to be and there seems always to be unexpected light in what you imagine is just going to be darkness. Thank you again!
Your pain is real, some days the pain of loss is like a heavy damp blanket over your world. Look for love in the simple things, a warm beverage, a fresh slow breeze on your face that is as soft as silk, birdsong as spring progresses, the gentle touch of a friends hand on yours as you visit. Slowly feel incremental change from pain to a less acute sadness, think of Farooq's best days. Make scribble pictures with the colors you are feeling. Imagine that the love you have has been the foundation for others you have known, an example to follow and thank your husband for his years of love and companionship. Draw a skyskape with your favorite clouds, celestial bodies, or you favorite blue with blossoms on a tree branch. Feel love in the simple...
Oh no Deborah my heart is breaking for you. I’m so sad to hear this and am holding you in my thoughts. Remembering losing someone very dear to me and how the whole world shifted and the significance of everything changed… There’s really nothing anyone can say to make things okay but I do hope you are able to take good care of yourself through this terrible time. All my love. M xx
Oh Michi, thank you so much for your kind words. How well you understand. You're so right about how it's made the significance of everything change. Nothing will ever be the same and it’s going to take time for it all to sink in. I am taking care of myself though, in this strange new place I find myself in. Thank you again. XXXXX
Oh, Deborah. I am so, so sorry. When I have grieved, I felt like I was moving through molasses. Everything slow and muted. I also know the little rays of light that poke their way through. It's confusing. As if everyone who becomes a part of us should always be here. It's inconceivable that they're not. I hope you feel all the love being sent your way. Adding mine... x
You're right, I hadn't thought about it but time seems to have slowed down. It is strange. Thank you! I do feel love being wafted my way in waves. It's a great comfort. XXX
Dear Deborah, I'm so very sorry for the devastating loss of Farooq. You're not far from me, just over t' tops, so I'm sending love right now and hoping you can feel it condensing on your roof and seeping in through your windows. Many hugs to you. Thank you for sharing the lovely drawing and writing so beautifully about grief. XX
Oooh I'm feeling that wave of love right now and it's definitely seeping in! My bedroom window looks out in your direction straight over towards the moor so I'm waving in reply. I remember how beautifully you wrote about your Dad, and it's so very good to hear from you now. What a delight and what a comfort. Many hugs to you too! XXX
I’m another older artist who also loves being outside. Not grieving for a life partner as you are, but all too familiar with loss and loneliness. A little of what is healing me: my artwork and writing. Getting outside every day and letting my child self just love what has changed from the day before like new leaves or branch I’ve been looking at that is starting to bloom. Greeting complete strangers on my daily walks. Reminding myself to let gratitude out for what is.
Your artwork will save you. Tree hugging, often maligned by those who’ve never tried It, will heal you. Smiling at a stranger every day will help your heart. These small tiny things don’t seem like much on their own, but they will add up like grains of sand in the hourglass of your life.
And thank you, for sharing those things that heal your heart, which are indeed absolutely the things that heal mine. I treasure every grain of sand - and your words, beautifully said. XXX
Oh Deborah, I am so incredibly sad to read this post and my heart goes out to you. Even as you walk in this liminal space, your words and paintings are beautiful. I went through an enormous, shocking loss of someone deeply beloved to me a few years ago. I remember the tenderness, the beauty, the learning how. I send much kindness from my heart to yours as you walk through these early days. May the memory of Farooq be a blessing.
This is beautiful, and I’m so sorry.
What you wrote about settling into grief and letting it explain itself feels deeply true to me. So does that feeling of wanting to remain in that sacred, misted space for a while, before the world starts demanding things from you again.
I’m very sorry about Farooq.
Thank you so very much, Charlie. Reading your post today helped me in so many ways to feel that this is a well trodden path, and to meet others along the way and receive greetings like this is a real blessing. There's so much love along the way. Thanks again. XXX
Hi Deborah! I don’t have any amazing words to say, but I send you my deepest care and prayers! Hugs and I hope that you can navigate this land of loss with whatever it takes to get through it. Losing a loved one is such a painful and difficult experience. 🫂💔
Thanks, Jennifer.
Sending love and hugs! Here is a sticker of some tiny flowers that grew in my yard. Weeds, yet they are beautiful!
I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief takes it's own sweet time. We'll be here when/ if you're ready to return here. I hope you find comfort in something, whether it is drawing, curling up under a blanket. An anticipated death is no less traumatic than a sudden one. Travel whatever route you need to, to get where you need to go.
Thank you! I am finding comfort, and sometimes it is curling up under a blanket. Everyone here has been so kind in the things they've said and this has been one of the best and most supportive things, a lifeline in fact because it would be easy to just to stay under that blanket, and I need connection! I'll be here, whatever path I'm travelling. XXXXX
We all end up at this place sooner or later. Glad you are finding comfort where you can. The only way out is through, hard as that feels sometimes.
Dear Deborah, I was shocked and so sorry to read what has happened. My deepest condolences to you; as someone with a life-partner of nearly as long, this is our greatest fear but will be our reality too one day. You wrote "being in an unknown place, being in the state of not knowing - is the most sacred, alive place to be." I take heart from these true words - it's good that you know this, and can count on your art and longtime thoughtfulness to help you through. I'm glad to hear too that your sister has been helping out. Grief takes as long as it takes, and it has its way with us, but if we're willing to stay in the unknown place, there's a lot of wisdom and, eventually, comfort. My thoughts are with you.
You’re so right, “grief takes as long as it takes”. I've no idea what the next weeks and months and even years will bring and I'm content just to let it play out because in some strange way I think I'm beginning to discover that being without each other is somehow the mirror image of being with each other, and is still a relationship, if that makes any sense at all. Thank you for your kind words Beth, and your thoughtfulness. It helps such a lot, to be on the receiving end of such compassion. And - don’t be afraid, or try not to be. I've spent so much of my life being afraid of what might happen, and it's utterly pointless - things are never how you imagine they’re going to be and there seems always to be unexpected light in what you imagine is just going to be darkness. Thank you again!
To Meditate, possible scenes:
Your pain is real, some days the pain of loss is like a heavy damp blanket over your world. Look for love in the simple things, a warm beverage, a fresh slow breeze on your face that is as soft as silk, birdsong as spring progresses, the gentle touch of a friends hand on yours as you visit. Slowly feel incremental change from pain to a less acute sadness, think of Farooq's best days. Make scribble pictures with the colors you are feeling. Imagine that the love you have has been the foundation for others you have known, an example to follow and thank your husband for his years of love and companionship. Draw a skyskape with your favorite clouds, celestial bodies, or you favorite blue with blossoms on a tree branch. Feel love in the simple...
Oh no Deborah my heart is breaking for you. I’m so sad to hear this and am holding you in my thoughts. Remembering losing someone very dear to me and how the whole world shifted and the significance of everything changed… There’s really nothing anyone can say to make things okay but I do hope you are able to take good care of yourself through this terrible time. All my love. M xx
Oh Michi, thank you so much for your kind words. How well you understand. You're so right about how it's made the significance of everything change. Nothing will ever be the same and it’s going to take time for it all to sink in. I am taking care of myself though, in this strange new place I find myself in. Thank you again. XXXXX
Oh, Deborah. I am so, so sorry. When I have grieved, I felt like I was moving through molasses. Everything slow and muted. I also know the little rays of light that poke their way through. It's confusing. As if everyone who becomes a part of us should always be here. It's inconceivable that they're not. I hope you feel all the love being sent your way. Adding mine... x
You're right, I hadn't thought about it but time seems to have slowed down. It is strange. Thank you! I do feel love being wafted my way in waves. It's a great comfort. XXX
Oh Deborah I am so very sorry😘
Oh thank you Louise! Thank you so much. XXX
Dear Deborah, I'm so very sorry for the devastating loss of Farooq. You're not far from me, just over t' tops, so I'm sending love right now and hoping you can feel it condensing on your roof and seeping in through your windows. Many hugs to you. Thank you for sharing the lovely drawing and writing so beautifully about grief. XX
Oooh I'm feeling that wave of love right now and it's definitely seeping in! My bedroom window looks out in your direction straight over towards the moor so I'm waving in reply. I remember how beautifully you wrote about your Dad, and it's so very good to hear from you now. What a delight and what a comfort. Many hugs to you too! XXX
I’m another older artist who also loves being outside. Not grieving for a life partner as you are, but all too familiar with loss and loneliness. A little of what is healing me: my artwork and writing. Getting outside every day and letting my child self just love what has changed from the day before like new leaves or branch I’ve been looking at that is starting to bloom. Greeting complete strangers on my daily walks. Reminding myself to let gratitude out for what is.
Your artwork will save you. Tree hugging, often maligned by those who’ve never tried It, will heal you. Smiling at a stranger every day will help your heart. These small tiny things don’t seem like much on their own, but they will add up like grains of sand in the hourglass of your life.
Thank you for sharing what you’re going through.
Hariana@ Rocketmail.com
And thank you, for sharing those things that heal your heart, which are indeed absolutely the things that heal mine. I treasure every grain of sand - and your words, beautifully said. XXX
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I can feel the depth of what you’re sharing here. Holding you gently in this space.
Oh Deborah, I am so sorry. Your art holds my heart so tenderly and I hope it holds yours as gently. Take care of you. xo
Thank you so much dear Linda! Such kind words. Yes, my heart does feel tenderly held and I'm so grateful. XXX
I’m so very sorry for this monumental loss. I am holding you in my heart 💗
Thank you so very much. XXX
Deepest Condolences 🙏.... hugs..
Thank you, Judith.
Oh Deborah, I am so incredibly sad to read this post and my heart goes out to you. Even as you walk in this liminal space, your words and paintings are beautiful. I went through an enormous, shocking loss of someone deeply beloved to me a few years ago. I remember the tenderness, the beauty, the learning how. I send much kindness from my heart to yours as you walk through these early days. May the memory of Farooq be a blessing.
The learning how. Yes, thank you - you understand, the tenderness and the beauty is all part of the loss. Thank you for your understanding. XXX
In my thoughts and my heart 🙏🏻💜
Thank you Frankie.